I had an interesting discussion, and there was some general agreement about the following point.

I can't be specific and say that what I am about to write is concerned with only women, only men, all humans, a mixture of the two sexes, or just some. I just do not have the experience to say. But of my experience, and those others discussing it, I will relate it to women, and I am sure it is not all women, but I do not even know the percentage it applies to, and after all I could be completely wrong, even.

But it is this, and I write it as not only of interest but also of a warning which men would do well to bear in mind.

Say you meet a woman, friendly to you, flirty, etc, and you feel you can relax with her, so you communicate with her unguarded as you deem her to be ok.

So you carry on like this and all is going well, then suddenly the wind changes. You do not see why this should be. All is and was going well, you were getting on really well. But what has happened is either a) she has changed her mind, suddenly doing an about turn, or b) she hasn't changed her mind, she was just not being honest with you about her true feelings. Eitherway, it is a sudden about turn, she can't stand you, you make her skin crawl, you are a pest and even threatening and scary. Of course you have no idea at all this is the new situation.

Maybe she has just 'gone off on one'. Whatever, she finds herself in a very awkward situation because having led you on and then just changed for 'no reason' she feels bad about it. She just wants to get rid of you but knows that it isn't your fault, so she feels bad, she can even feel ashamed and embarrassed, and this shame and embarrassment is so hurtful and uncomfortable to her that she needs to save herself, she needs to find a reason to make you and everything go away to never bother her again so that she can bury it and carry on. Though she can't tell you straight, she needs to blame you, needs to justify herself, she needs 'ammo', and may loll you along until something turns up she can take out of context so as to shine a very different light upon it.

At this point you are in dangerous territory, and you still have no idea of your peril because you do not know the true state of things.

In desperate need of a reason for you to be the one to blame, some reason will be found or concocted. You text her, thinking all is alright (incident one, noted and logged), you phone her (incident two, noted and logged), the love letter you sent her with a bit of poetry becomes a stalking menace (incident three, noted and logged).

Next thing you know you have got someone duffing you up, or even a cop on your doorstep, re an allegation, or your text are all gathered and read, and your internet activity, etc, etc, though you may perhaps never know about it, yet a record you naturally have to have because of it.

If it was cops, they would know the score, and soon see you are ok, and strongly suspect that they have been used to satisfy a need she has to ensure a total end to it, and to pass the blame from herself for having been hurtful to you for having led you on and then suddenly changed.

Be careful is all I am saying. Remember that how it is, esp at the beginning, may very well not actually be how it is or will be, so don't let your guard down, have a mind for anything which could be twisted and used. Some would throw you to the wolves just to save their own feelings of shame and low self-esteem.

This definitely just happened to you.

Ha, ha, ha, ha.........no, no, no..........it happened to my, er..... friend! Yes, a friend on mine, and, and....and I just thought it was interesting and would write about it......no, no, no, no......ha, ha, ha. You really are very funny. Ho, ho, ho.

Full screen essential: https://youtu.be/__-cI_oM_lM

I've a lot of stuff I'd like to say on this thread, a little at a time, as there is no rush.

It is to do with my study of people.

Part is this is PROJECTION. A person may project onto the world an image of themselves, intentionally, as they would like to, or hope to, be seen and thought of. Or they may wish to project an 'image' upon a person or thing. I am concerned with when a person projects upon a person.

Also, should you wish to read up before i submit my theory, look up 'confirmation bias'. This is sooooo important. Also stupidity. I will go on to try and use these phenomena to explain a helluva lot. I wish to explain the subject of 'people'.

I was once in hospital, and this is how it is. I'm ok now. What a relief to get out and back to normal. https://youtu.be/RxMEUqHPqcA

Just whilst I am thinking, as it has been on my mind a while, I notice that on this forum, as on many other forums, that it tends to be just literate people who post: people who can spell, can use words to express themselves, who can construct sentences and paragraphs.

There must be people out there, perhaps people reading this and other posts who would like to post but feel embarrassed because it would show that they do not have the skills of literacy.

Well, don't be put off by that, Firstly it is not your fault, indeed more the hero you for having survived and endured with such a life handicap. and i think I can speak for everyone on this site when I say that I/they would not be concerned. They would understand and be pleased you posted, and know that you would soon pick it up, this writing lark.

To help, well there is spelling and the use of the correct words for what you mean, and also the worry about misuse of grammar (the question marks, the commas, etc, but don't worry, your meaning will get through. But more of help is the construction of sentences, and in particular, clauses. CLAUSES. I think they are the most important think in writing. If you can notice in my writing, I use clauses. When you read my writing you probably find it pleasing to read, that it has a pleasant rhythm, that it has a fluidity. Well this is down, mainly, to clauses. That is a good example of a clause in my writing, when I just wrote 'mainly', can you notice that it was separated from the rest of the sentence by commas, and in so doing i created a clause. I was saying that it is nearly always the case but not always the case, so I had to put in that it was 'mainly', I just cut into my sentence with this in order to make my communication correct to how I feel that the most important aspect of writing is clauses. If you go back and read that sentence without the commas it makes less sense than if I use the commas to ask the reader to pause slightly and note that I am saying it is only 'in the main'. Note how i just used those apostrophes to enclose and emphasize 'in the main'. You see as you read and write, just try and think about the sense you are making, or not, and you will find that punctuation is sooooo necessary to make sense. After a while you will get the hang of it.

So post. Folks on here are not dummies. You are in safe hands. They are not out to destroy you, squash you, they are far too wised up to be so low. You wouldn't be marked up for being poor at writing (learning to write), though you'd still get told if you was a knob, I suppose. I get this said to me, but i couldn't give a crap.

So get posting. Start reading and writing with a mind to just what sense exactly the words are making, and then you will be on the right track.

No, Stein, it hasn't happened to me, not knowingly. If it had, and i knew, I think I would never use a phone again or go on the internet.

That said, i always write or text, etc, as though it is being secretly monitored, now or at some point. Not that I think I am special in any way, to be monitored, but the authorities would have to look and keep an eye on communication in general. They probably would rather not, but they are duty bound to manage society and protect us. I'd do it, I'd have to.

There will be people who are doing research, anthropology, or whatever, and even some who become stalkers, abusing their entitlement to snoop. Like, 'Hmmm, this Tat poster seems interesting, I'll just have a dig into his life'........really what they mean is that I make them laugh now and then and present ideas and things which stimulate them and alleviate their dull and lacking lives.....they just what more of it, so they stalk. This will certainly go on, not necessarily with me, but the more I write entertaining and individualistically, almost addictive to the reader, things, refreshing the parts that other beers don't reach, the more I make myself a target for such a stalker.......I can understand it, they are desperate, and they would feel that I am the antidote, that I have the missing pieces they need, which is probably true, but they are to be freely given, not stolen.

No, Stein, it has never happened, but I have used my brain to imagine what could happen, a series of events, when I consider how psychology can work.......guilt, a very powerful emotion.

Guilt. Wow. Powerful stuff. Thankfully, I conduct my life and affairs so as to be guilt free. I think a lot of people find themselves suffering the overwhelming burden of guilt because they just blindly stumbled into it. Then they desperately need to get themselves out of it.

I suppose guilt is strongly connected to the feeling of shame, which is equally powerful.

Shame can be the self knowledge, for example, that their self is stupid, that their self is in a state of stupidity. Naturally very disturbing, and such that it could force a person to behave in ways they could not imagine, ways which force them to resort to any measure to alleviate their plight....., measures which reality and fairness would not provide, so they resort to fantasy.....making believe that fantasy is reality.

Anyway, more later................................

I think that 'Ha Ha Said the Clown', and the 'Drop the Pressure' video are examples excellent film-making. It is that they work like as does a dream, where it can slip into the, metaphysical, if that is what metaphysical is. They use a sort of short hand to make the point. truly amazing. There are some really talented people around. They use metaphor and the subliminal language of art so fluently. You can tell that the maker is totally in control and knows exactly where they are going. And also the performers, too. Whether that is direction, I cannot know, but they seem so 'in tune' with the idea. If that is acting, their own latching on to the idea and interpreting it, then these people are equally genius.

Just watch it again, closely. https://youtu.be/__-cI_oM_lM It can't just be me, but I feel like I am that guy, that I have felt like that, that some super-fit woman was with some guy I never would have suspected, and it sort of makes me feel 'how little I know', how naive I am, how 'unadult' and immature I am, in the larger world.