I'm not talking about a song or video that pumps you up temporarily, I'm talking about how do guys on here a) find something that truly makes you feel emotionally driven to pursue , and b) how do you structure it practically and keep on track?

This whole area of psychology baffles me. I've achieved quite a bit mainly as a result of trying to move away from personal problems; I guess you could class that as negative motivation. But now that things are somewhat better I find myself confused as to what I am doing with my life and why.

People talk about finding out what your values are and weaving that into your goals, or the old cliches like doing what you love…all very well and good but I've got bills to pay!

I dunno, I'm rambling. What are your experiences with this?

I think I relate to what you are saying. Was thinking about posting something like this a while back.

Like you, moving away from personal problems was once a strong motivator for me. But after achieving that, nothing much in life motivates me anymore, apart from proving people wrong in my chosen sport, and getting fitter. But that's only a hobby, not something I can build my life around. Drifting through life seems to be the subsequent result.

I hate my job, so I'm trying to pursue a career in a more altruistic field of work, so that I'm doing something more interesting; rewarding by make people's lives better, and would get a little more money from it. But I'm not getting much luck in getting that job. But in all honesty, that career change is not proving to be a strong enough motivator to give direction/drive/meaning to my life.

So I'm stumped as well, mate.

What are your passions?
What is it that drives you?
What makes you happy?
What do you really want to do for a career, and how does that compare with what you currently do? How do you feel about your current job?

As daft it sounds, for me here are some pretty important things: ensure you have a proper sleep routine - go to bed early & rise early. If you need 8 hours sleep, make sure you get it. I don't do this - but go to a gym, work out & keep healthy. Think of the good things you've got going in your life & think of how things you are grateful for. I know these sound daft - but they are important.

It really depends; what exactly is it your looking for motivation with? Difficult to say as you haven't specified anything. No human is always motivated; motivation comes and goes.The important thing is to get it back again when it goes, not when you have it.

A vivid memory of the pain of social anxiety, depression, loneliness anf all the missed chances with women. That's enough to motivate me.

I think whilst noble and understandable, these are not good motivators to get better with woman. I know exactly where your coming from.

As long as you keep associating yourself with these notions, you'll never truly go forward and they will always be there. Let them go & instead of fixating on getting better with woman, get better as a person as a whole, and improve your life as a whole.

Well knowing what I was like before, how bad that was and the dread of falling back into that trap gives me the motivation to get out of the house on a daily basis. I'm prepared to work at it, confronting my fears and conquering them, hitting on women, going to the gym, improving myself all the time, giving value without asking anything in return. It's slow progress, difficult and it's a personal journey.

But it's become about more than just getting better with women for me now. That's a bonus or a side effect. It's about being comfortable in my own skin. I think once you start to feel that everything you want starts to come to you.

Sometimes just having a goal that you feel passionately about is enough positive motivation to keep you going for a good while. If you have that don't question it, that's what I say. If you don't have it look inside yourself and find where the passion lies and make it your personal project to pursue that by any means necessarry.

The only way you can fail is if you quit.

Yeah I relate to a lot of that.

I've thought about shifting to a more altruistic field too, but I think you need to feel inspired by the cause in question rather than just gravitating to anything altruistic in the hope that it provides meaning.

It's not that I'm unhappy, on paper my life is radically better. I've overcome depression, obesity, I used to feel intimidated by women now they are just a normal part of life.

It's more that I'm bored and feel like I'm coasting or something.

'Drifting' is really where you're not challenging yourself enough. You have to find a new challenge that's difficult for you but is possible for you to achieve. Expanding your comfort zone. Think of something that scares you a bit and put yourself in a position where you have committed yourself to take it on and can't easily get out of it.

Doing something that's a bit more interesting than what you are doing now might not be enough.

Yeah I mean that makes sense if you have some kind of big problem that you have to find the internal leverage to work on, but without some big cause to chase or flee from I'm just curious how people find direction and meaning really.

I look at a lot of people and wonder whether they're reflective enough or so profound as to ask such existential questions of themselves (I envy them). Most of us fall into the economic slavery of working 9 - 5 jobs to pay the tons of bills that you have to pay.

Sometimes I get the impression that having a family provides the necessary meaning for people in life.