A few realisations:

1) The social 'filters' are being reduced.

In the last month or so I find myself filtering less of what I say, and just being more expressive. I feel more 'free' as a result and work colleagues, friends and family are noticing the difference. It has taken a while to understand what 'authenticity' means, and I am now beginning to get it. Leading on from this....

2) My current job is incompatible with the kind of lifestyle I want to have, and the kind of person I want to be.

This is an unexpected part of my journey; I am confident that things will work themselves out, but for the meantime I will need some advice (will start a separate post in off-topic)

3) Drinking vs. Not drinking

Seems to be coming up a bit in threads. My opinion - some nights I feel like drinking, some nights I don't feel like drinking. And that's probably the way it should be - do whatever you feel is right.

4) Looks

Over the last few weeks I've seen quite a few guys who will either (1) stand in the club 'modelling' for most of the night, or (2) think their looks will substitute for a personality (told to me by girls I have spoken to). If you are comfortable with yourself, girls will sense it. Leading to.....

5) Enjoyment

The more you talk to girls, the more I am amused by their mannerisms, the commonalities, and the things that make each of them unique.

There is a LONG way to go with all of this, but I feel like the foundations are becoming more and more solid. And that only comes through going out and taking action.

Nice post SmileyK, don't you like those realisations!

What is it about your job that is incompatible with the type of lifestyle you wish to lead?

Many things, too many to list here.

And I like the realisations, it's a sign that I am evolving for the better. Where there are doubts is the fact that I will be far out of my comfort zone very soon, which is where the power of the positive re-frame will be tested!

Last week, something unexpected happened that has caused me to step back and take a look at my situation. I am a teacher, and have has the same tutor group for the last 4 years. Last week, they went on study leave for their exams (they are in Year 11). I wasn't expecting anything, so I was surprised when they presented me with a large world map (I teach Geography) which the majority of them had signed. This reduced me to tears, as they have proved to be hard work over the years!

I was on the verge of leaving but that single moment, along with the other gifts and thanks I have received, has suddenly made all the hard work worth it.

So, how does this relate to PU? Success does not come overnight, there are no short cuts to success (see CovertOperations' last post).

I have not been doing too badly on the bedroom side of things, but at the same time it has been unsatisfactory sex. The kind of sex when, as soon as you cum, there is an immediate feeling of regret. This realisation was reached when, whilst mid-flow with a woman 2 weeks ago, she asked why I was so quiet. I didn't have the heart to say that I wasn't really feeling it.

Sometimes I feel that the women I sleep with is a reflection of how I feel about myself. My last 4 lays have been a random French woman, a 51-year old Northerner, A Spanish prostitute in Valencia, and a 37-year old. The last attractive (in my eyes) woman I slept with (which was 1 year ago) called it a day because, on reflection, of my neediness (position of scarcity).

I was hoping to move out in the summer from my mum's house as I feel this is part of the issue. However having sat down today and done the sums, it will not be financially possible until the New Year at the very earliest.

Rather than look at this as a setback, I now see it as an opportunity to get my head down, save money, hit the gym, meditate, and do other things that will get me prepared to hit the ground running once I get my own place.

As for going out, I plan to go 'dry' for a while to save money. Strangely, I also feel like I have nothing to lose. The only goal I have now when going out is:

Take action.

That is it. Anything else that happens after that is a bonus. So all in all a rather unusual 'field report', but this is where I'm at on my journey.

Recently my focus when going out has shifted to simply amusing myself, and becoming less dependent on the venue to provide the 'vibe'.

It's going well - me and my mate are always clowning around in bars doing our own thing, and inevitably this attracts the attention of women.

I now feel I have reached the next stage of my journey: building momentum, and 'destroying the ego'.

With the summer approaching, it's an ideal time to string together a couple of nights out in a row. Including a return to my 2nd home of Manchester!

After going out last night, and bailing from the club early, there was the horrible realisation that my game has gone backwards over the last few months. Despite getting a couple of lays in this period, this was simply masking the fundamental issues. I will now break down the events of yesterday evening, with after-thoughts in italics.

The plan was to meet up with a couple of guys from the RSD Inner Circle, and head to the Piccadilly Institute.

I always find that meeting up with guys from online is a gamble - the guy is either cool, or not. Never in-between.

The guys seem cool. We enter PI, and I'm feeling in a good mood even though I'm not drinking (this is a recent development). It takes me quite a while to get into the night in terms of approaching - I do a couple here and there, and then my wing starts to get anxious, saying things such as
'I need to get into state'
and
'We are not approaching enough'

Rather than standing my ground and just chilling out, we end up walking around the club looking for girls. I do not like this, and it ends up putting me in my head. The other guys we came with are now in set, so it was just us two.

We decided to get stamped, and go out into Leicester Square to do some street game. By this point I am feeling distinctly uncomfortable, and decided to call it quits at midnight as I didn't want to affect my wing's night.

On the way home I had a think about what the fuck is going wrong, and came to some conclusions.

1) More solo nights are needed. I now understand why people go out solo....when you have a good wing the support can be great, but a poor wing, as I have found many times, does not help at all. Going solo would force me to step up

2) Confidence at the start of the interaction is the key. Linked to this, most importantly, is;

3) Focusing on other things for a while. They sometimes say that a problem cannot be solved at the same logical level that is was created; in this case, I think I need to pursue other interests for a while. I apply too much pressure to myself when I'm out, and I feel that doing other things for a while may help to provide a fresh perspective.

I plan on coming back to 'gaming' in the next few months, but feel that a break at this point is necessary.

Going through a significant dry patch at the moment....somehow women have a sixth sense for this and, whilst they will talk to you, your sub-communications project an air of desperation.

This is not helped by going to various social functions (weddings, birthdays etc) and being at that age where there are few single women. And obviously your match-making friends will try to hook you up with the other singles.

An increasing number of friends keep suggesting I turn to online dating, and saying that I need to 'find someone'.

And the more they keep saying it, the more I want to simply build a good life for myself rather than with the aim of 'getting' someone (as if that person will complete the jigsaw).

Which brings me on to external validation. A man of scarcity clings to any good reaction; sometimes I try to pretend that I don't care, but I do. I realised this the other day, when I let myself be wound up by some bratty 20-something year olds in the bar.

So I want to work on myself (and I have stated this previously), but also feel the pressure of time as I see many of my friends settling down. However, kinda in relation to Jaz's thread, some are stuck in bad relationships but would rather do that than start again as a singleton.

In a week's time I will be moving into my own flat; for me, this is a massive step in the right direction. As one phase of the journey ends, another begins.

I currently live with my mum, so logistics will become much easier.

And I didn't say anything about going out sober?

I didn't say that, I said that they can sense a man who has scarcity. And that is something I certainly don't want to transfer to them!

Hmm, been a while since I last posted. Things have kinda ground to a halt at the moment; long work hours, a lack of motivation to pull girls, and doing other things non-PU related to try and improve myself.

The strange is that I can get a conversation going most of the time, but lack the motivation to take it further. This is something that Alex from RSD also pointed out when I was in Dublin (cool guy).

For example I was out in Clapham yesterday, started a few conversations but the girls usually left/made their excuses after 15-20 mins. And with one, there were the dreaded parting words:

'You're such a nice guy'

Previous experience tells me that this usually means you have been friend-zoned.

I thought about this 'nice guy' thing a lot on the way home, and it has led me to do a massive re-frame. Rather than moaning that girls don't like nice guys, I know within myself that I have a good heart and people need to meet MY standards. And if they don't, at least be a positive influence. And call them out when necessary.

Another thing I realise is that there is no substitute for experience. Rather than talking Game and analysing people, sometimes you just have to Hit It Up. And that is my intention as we enter the party season.