Go Back   PUA Forums - The UK's Leading Pick-up Artist Forum > Pickup Forums > Field Reports


Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
(#1)
Old
Junior Member
 
Default It's happened again! - 02-05-2017, 05:59 PM

Right, there's something I'm doing very, very wrong.

I'm reasonably successful with women; my current number is 106. But my conversion rate is absolutely dreadful - pitiful in fact. I know you can't win them all but there is something seriously up and I can't work out what it is.

So I generally use Tinder, POF, etc. and I've no problems whatsoever arranging to meet up with a girl. I have that down to a tee but when we do meet, 90% of the time, she'll say she felt no spark.

This weekend for example; I arranged for a girl to come over to mine. We'd have some drinks and we'd go for a meal. She even arranged to stay over. Within 30 mins, she'd said she wasn't feeling it and left! I mean WTF? I'm beginning to get a complex here because it's a continual theme. I asked her what was up and she said she felt no spark. This has now happened on well over 20 dates.

I'm not even sure where to begin; I mean it must have been pretty bad for her to actually leave my house!

Can anyone offer any advice? I can provide more information if you need it. Please be as brutal as possible; I need to learn from my mistakes and I'm currently not getting anywhere.
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote

Don't like ads? Register a free account to make them go away forever.

(#2)
Old
daleinthedark's Avatar
MASTER PUA
Helicopter Champion
 
Send a message via Skype™ to daleinthedark
Default 03-05-2017, 01:20 AM

Touch

Are you touching them from the very start? Being physical and forward? I'd say no or not in a confident comfortable way.

kowalski is better at explaining it than me but if your not touching them from the get go and being generally playful, there won't be a spark.

I'm lucky that I live in in a French speaking city so everybody starts with la bise, a kiss on each cheek. Contact barrier broken. This works well because now whenever I meet a girl (unless in a business setting) I give 2 kisses usually with a slight embrace.
In a dating setting it's very easy here to let a touch linger on their arm and caress them as I pull away in a totally natural manner. Sometimes if I feel there's mutual attraction I'll drop my hand straight down to hers.

Hope that helps.

Good luck & stop counting warning cliche quote
Quote:
life is not the amount of breaths you take. It’s the moments that take your breath away.


Be desireless. Be awesome. Be gone

Last edited by daleinthedark; 03-05-2017 at 01:24 AM.
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to daleinthedark For This Useful Post:
kowalski (03-05-2017)
(#3)
Old
Junior Member
 
Default 03-05-2017, 10:42 AM

You may have a point there. I will always greet them with a kiss on the cheek.

When she came in, we sat on opposite sofas so perhaps this lack of contact was a factor. How would you have positioned yourself?
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
(#4)
Old
Jaz's Avatar
Jaz Jaz is offline
Administrator
 
Default 03-05-2017, 04:09 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by captaincool View Post
I'm reasonably successful with women; my current number is 106.
Do yourself a favour. Stop counting - It comes as either lies or just plain weird. You are not 17 years old.
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Jaz For This Useful Post:
daleinthedark (04-05-2017), kowalski (03-05-2017), markuk (19-10-2017)
(#5)
Old
Junior Member
 
Default 03-05-2017, 04:25 PM

Understood. It was more to show that I am quite successful, I've just got some weird sticking point I'm trying to figure out.
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
(#6)
Old
dan300's Avatar
MASTER PUA
 
Default 03-05-2017, 04:58 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by captaincool View Post
When she came in, we sat on opposite sofas so perhaps this lack of contact was a factor. How would you have positioned yourself?
In my experience this has been quite a successful arrangement.

If you end up sitting in opposite chairs, you can chat & flirt, banter or whatever. Until you interrupt the conversation by saying "Come here" coupled with the come here gesture.

She'll usually come over closer & sit beside you, knowing what you're really looking her there for. I'll even surprise her by just pulling her right on top of me there & then.

It's worked out for me on many occasions.


Rule number 1, don't be number 2
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to dan300 For This Useful Post:
daleinthedark (04-05-2017), kowalski (03-05-2017)
(#7)
Old
Junior Member
 
Default 03-05-2017, 05:19 PM

Yeh, I can see how that works. My issue is, I keep getting this 'no spark' remark which seems to me to be because I've failed to build up attraction. I'm reading into escalating and how to build attraction, kino, etc. Is there anything else I should research?
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
(#8)
Old
kowalski's Avatar
MASTER PUA
 
Send a message via Skype™ to kowalski
Default 03-05-2017, 05:54 PM

You can't bulld attraction. So don't try. Escalating just means going from chat to touch to more intense touch. I prefer to start with touch as soon as I start chat. Just exactly as Mark was saying. Since over a year when i do the two kisses I always put my hand on the girl's (any girl, any woman, any social situation) hip/waist and if I'm attracted to her I 'caress' that shit.

That's cool for Dan that he can close the distance comfortably. I think any position where you can't make incidental contact is more work than one where you can.

I don't tinder but I do get with couchsurfers. The analogous parts being: we've only communicated through a chat app prior to meeting and there's an obvious attraction element (or I wouldn't agree to host / meet them). In these situations I'm slightly more forward physically when I greet them, so they feel that I'm attracted to them... that is to say: they feel that I feel a spark.

What about you? Are you feeling a spark? Is your fire being lit? And, if so, how does that demonstrate itself... aside from marking your territory with accidental shag-stamps?


Peace,

kowalski


Be authentic

Last edited by kowalski; 03-05-2017 at 05:56 PM.
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
(#9)
Old
Junior Member
 
Default 03-05-2017, 06:51 PM

Thanks for taking the time to respond, Kowalski.

There must have been an element of attraction for them to want to meet in the first instance; especially girls on Tinder / POF are bombarded with messages on a daily basis. My concern is that don't seem to be able to take things further when we meet. It's always that same message.

I don't feel a spark all the time but I'd say with these recent dates I have. I try to be respectful and show interest, but I'm not sure if I'm coming off as not confident or sure of what I want. It's very difficult for me to say as I'm not observing myself. I know there is SOMETHING I'm not doing well because it's happened too often.

I'll give another example; I was chatting to a girl for a very long time, we met for coffee, we really got on well. More so than anyone else I've dated previously. I arranged to meet her in Newcastle, we went for a meal and a drink and I could just feel something wasn't right for her. She then dropped the spark bomb the next day - but it was almost like she was gutted there wasn't one and gutted I hadn't displayed any sort of value but didn't want to be "cruel" and say "listen mate, you come across as needy" or whatever. Does that make sense?
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
(#10)
Old
kowalski's Avatar
MASTER PUA
 
Send a message via Skype™ to kowalski
Default 03-05-2017, 07:09 PM

Was there any physical contact with that girl you just talked about? You didn't describe any.

To me it is sounding more and more like they want you to kiss them and you don't. If she can tell you want to kiss her and you don't, girls don't like that it seems unmasculine to them... Like, you used the word 'respectful' just now. That's not a word you'll find often repeated on this forum. I just did a quick search. 62 instances of that word over 82,434 posts and fuck knows how many words written. Of those I scanned a few and they went like this...

New forum member - I try to be respectful
Old forum member - Don't try and don't be respectful. Be real / authentic.


Peace,

kowalski


Be authentic
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off


Pick-Up Artist Forum UK
Copyright © 2017

Powered by vBulletin
Copyright ©2000 - 2010, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.