Hi guys, not sure if Ive put this in the right section or not, so if the moderators deem it needs moved then apologies.


Ill add some back ground, so this might be a bit lengthy but the short version is Im struggling to progress short term(1-3months) casual relationshis into medium-long term(3months plus) casual relationships, so wondered if anyone had any advice or books to read etc.

I want to progress them as the more adventurous sex seems to come at that point where enough trust etc has built up, so if they keep ending at that point I never get to experience the more exciting situ's(threesomes etc)


Background -

I ended a 3year relationship last Aug with a really nice girl who just wasnt for me.

With the hours I work, I meet women online.

My work also needs alot of my attention as does my life so Im on a mission to sort my shit out.

Im unconvinced monogamy and marriage are ideal 'for life' but you never know whats ahead.

For the time being Im keen to explore multiple casual relationships(sex, with occaissional drinks, dinner, cinema etc.). The more adventurous the girl is/becomes the better. I make it clear to all the women Im seeing other girls and that I dont expect them to stop going on dates etc(although most of them do stop seeing other guys)


Now although Im not familiar with Ross Jeffries work, I really like his advice of 'Leave a woman better than you found her.' and this is what I try to do with my casual relations.

Im not interested in lying to women or trying to hurt them emotionally just to get what I want but I understand there could be some hurt as hopes/expectaions arise so I try to minimise it.

I help the women I hang out with explore their sexuality to help keep the focus on the bedroom - but around the 3month mark the women want me to see them exclusively while being casual.(which to me is a classic monogamus relationship so makes no sense).

Obviously my answers no but its gutting as when I add up the hours Ive put into msgs, txts, emails, pictures, overcoming barriers, dealing with shit tests I dont really just want to chuck it all alway(although I will if its best for an individual girl).

Ultimately I want a woman to hang out with me because shes approaching the relationship from a cool, healthy, no pressure, no expectations perspective.

If she starts developing feelings and isnt cool with hanging out anymore or wants to try change what we agreed then thats when the alarm goes off for me. Yeah I could be cheeky and lie and continue to see them but if theyre not reeeeally cool with it and we end up seeing each other for 6months or more then I could really mess them up just so I can have sex with them and thats not really what Im about.

Ive watched Todd Valentines infamous speech on what to say to a woman in this kinda situ but half of it is blatent manipulation, so if I used it I know Id be taking advatage of their developing feelings - just so we can keep hanging out. Thats not cool. I try to accept some things have a natural end but its tough as I geniunely like hanging out with a couple of the girls.

Id much rather have a core few girls that I see every 1-2weeks and have the option of occaissional one night stands etc.

Im just not sure if I need to accept theres no option to get past the 3month stage or whether I need to approach things differently so that I can instigate the more adventurous better sex.

Im getting fed up hearing - 'I really want to do X,Y,Z with you but you need to stop seeing the other girls' - so your thoughts on this would be appreciated as its not the kind of thing I can talk about to my friends etc.

Thanks in advance!

Yeah with the few girls I've hung out with we have a pretty open and frank chat about fantasies but initially they're pretty adamant threesomes aren't something their into - then the longer we hang out the more they're like 'emmm, I think I would like to try a girl'

I need to ascertain a better way of instigation more adventurous sex from the off...