Evening,

I've been pondering some recent meet-ups from dating apps (OKCupid / Tinder) and invite your comments - tell me where I'm going wrong, where to sharpen up!

Background:
- Just left a 3 year relationship
- Used to be active in pick-up
- Interested in getting a new girlfriend, more interested in sleeping with hot girls!
- Reasonable looking, in good shape but my major points are intelligence, confidence, rapport (modesty too but I'm trying to build a picture so don't think too bad of me!) but feeling a bit out-of-practice in seducing

Apps:
- I've been using OKCupid and Tinder
- Never convinced I'm putting the best photo on as the main one but still getting matches
- OKCupid seems like a deeper rapport app where girls are more interested in a relationship
- Tinder - way hotter girls, tonnes of them, probably lower hit rate though...

The Weekend:
- Saturday - OKC meet-up
- Sunday - Tinder meet-up
- OKC - the girl was not that good looking, maybe a 5, but was available at a good time and... seemed like a bit of sweetheart, to be fair! (Should I feel guilty? Ha!). I felt I needed the practice. Good rapport, no awkward moments, good connection. But... no sexual chemistry. Hard to see how to progress. She seemed a (chatty) introvert and a tad reserved so it was probably an up-hill battle. Kino difficult as she seemed to automatically (and almost deferentially) keep a polite distance.
- Tinder - hotter girl, not fantastic but adventurous and sporty. 7, so not great but it's early days. Again, comfortable, good rapport. This time more energy as she was more extroverted and I was more aware of my weakness. Physical distance was closer, easy to kino comfortably (but not reciprocated). This one involved alcohol too which I thought might help! All the same, as much as we got on, I just saw no opportunity to push seduction and sexuality.

Things on my mind:
- If girls very quickly feel comfortable, happy, chatty, etc. how do you push it on into flirting if its not happening naturally?
- Were they too comfortable? Should I be doing that old breaking rapport thing? Am I making them so at ease that they assume we're at the same status rather than making them chase me?
- As opposed to meeting at a bar (for example) do online-to-date scenarios lack the connection and intimacy? Should I be going in with a different mindset or maybe framing the date differently (i.e. we're not just meeting up, you're about to find out if we're destined to have sex or not, etc.)?
- Is DHV really that important? Is it too unnatural?
- Rapport, confidence, general calibration all seemed solid but it's pushing it to the next level that seems to allude me!

Appreciate your thoughts. A lot there but it's my first time back in the game.

i really wanna help here but its too wordy.

can u ask questions in ones please.

Just shout if something stands out! But yeh... I guess the key question would be something like this:

How should I make things more flirty to push to the next level?

I've given it some thought and came up with 2 elements:
- I'm probably not attracted enough to these particular girls and so that sexual drive isn't coming through passively (as much as you can jack it up a bit)
- I'm not framing it right. I read a few pages of Jon Sinn's ebook today (bought at a surprisingly reasonable price) and BANG! The verbal flirtation stuff is changing the frame to a far more sexual one (and without much effort!)

I've got one girl who's invited me over straight from Tinder and is now pissed off with me because I haven't got round to at least phoning her for phone sex. Other girls I've already got to text messaging on our mobile phones, they've all perked up.

I'm sure you're all more advanced than me but a few tit-bits:
- Insinuating that they've said something sexual
- Calling them naughty girls, suggesting that they've got a good girl/bad girl split personality
- Generally being more openly sexual but not in a 'boom, there, I said it!' way rather than a needy kind of way (I hope!)

Any other advice appreciated!

This weekend's dates will be far more interesting!!

Hi mate. I'm having the same issues. I have great Tinder game - very high hit rate and don't have any issues getting dates. I'm just dreadful at building attraction on the dates.