Broadswords Thread

[Shahanshah]

No I said it is because it is. Anyway I've read through Broadswords first posts and older posts and I see little change: he went from being upset that he couldn't get laid to being content with it. Get him a cake. In fact, Kowalski, you made a great post on his first thread that hit the nail on the head.

Broadsword, good luck on your journey as you're going to need it, I'm done with following this thread.

[Phenom]

Originally Posted by kowalski

Just stating that something was a bunch of feel good rhetoric doesn't automatically make it true and it isn't an argument, or a proof, or any kind of evidence.

Shahanshah has struggled offering any of those three things in his previous few posts. But then again it's dead easy just espousing something as feel good rhetoric, anyone can do that.

Originally Posted by Shahanshah

No I said it is because it is.

Explain why please? Just saying 'because it is' makes you sound like a butt hurt kid.

Originally Posted by Shahanshah

Anyway I've read through Broadswords first posts and older posts and I see little change: he went from being upset that he couldn't get laid to being content with it.

Your so blind that you can't see the wood for the trees, you even call it yourself and still cant see it.

A guy had serious life affecting issues and now doesn't, he worked them out on his own. You seem to be stuck in some cycle where his change is only validated if he get's his dick wet.

Originally Posted by Shahanshah

Broadsword, good luck on your journey as you're going to need it, I'm done with following this thread.

LOL, no he doesn't he'l be fine, he's happy.

[markuk]

Okay so you guys are being all intellectual and shit.

Let me lower the tone.

So I know what's it's like to not have sex in a long time and how I dealt with that. I'm not sure some of you other guys could relate to that.
Yea I'm relating to Broadsword bitches.

So my question to Broadswords is when you jerk one out, who do you fantasize about?

This is not a loaded question and I'll explain why. I was a virgin for a long time. I wouldn't say I was particularly depressed, I had friends and did shit.
However when I got horny I just watched porn. I never really felt horny for 'normal' girls I got my kicks through porn.

I'm not saying porn is evil and that I don't watch some occasionally now, however it's rare I do. I look at women I meet and feel horny about them.
That drives me to meet women more women. It has probably been one of the biggest motivators for me.

Originally Posted by BroadswordWSJ

I don't really know what more i could be doing other than to take opportunities as and when they come

This sounds reactive not proactive. You're clearly doing proative things, like speed dating. To me speed-dating is no more contrived that doing an 'approach' on a hottie on the street. So why not try that as well occasionally, I've found that liberating from an anxiety standpoint & I've met some girls this way, although not had sex with any (but that's not the point).
Maybe speed dating is more accepted on this forum because it's not PUA related, dunno.


I just think this could be a case not not knowing what you're missing out on.
It's a catch-22 as how do you know what you're missing out on until you've had it of course.

Anyway just my two pence worth.

[BroadswordWSJ]

Wow. I certainly never thought a little update for the first time in 2 months would cause such an explosion.

It's pretty clear no matter what I reply here that some folks won't like it, I could probably type the perfect response & still get flamed. Such is life.
Will split this into 3 posts so its not like an eye bleeding wall of death.

Originally Posted by markuk

You know I'd have more respect for a creepy 'PUA' type guy who was a virgin and was trying to get girls than guys like you who think they're too good to chase girls.

I think you've either got the wrong impression of me, or I'm giving off the wrong impression. What makes you think I think I'm too good to chase girls? Not at all!

Originally Posted by Shahanshah

You need a rough plan or mindset:

I will go out every weekend and approach 12 girls and at least ask them for their number. I will also go out during the week unless I'm on a date or doing a proactive hobby. I will do X,Y & Z

If you really feel like dating isn't a big deal at all in your position maybe you're asexual.

I've tried the whole "going out for the pure sake of approaching & gaming" on at least 3 occasions & it doesn't work for me, simply because I find it fake & not real. On nights out I'd be prowling around the whole bar just looking for a girl to approach, and I'd feel like a dick, on edge and then totally beat myself up when nothing came of it; I was in the mindset of "approaching women - must get some kind of result". On that PUA bootcamp I did when you were forced to approach - it just felt wrong whereas once the instructors let us do our own thing it was so much better to talk to women as & when you felt like it, and one that you liked and weren't approaching for the pure sake of it, as a subset of a normal night out. It works for some - I know Nova & Stein have made a killing doing this, well done & fair play to them. But it's not for me and it never will be.

Dating shouldn't be a big deal though should it? It's a normal thing. I'm going to ignore being "in my position" which I'll come back to later. And I'm definitly not asexual - I still get aroused by attractive women & jerk off like everyone else.

Originally Posted by Shahanshah

1) If you paid any attention you would see it is clear he avoids or at least doesn't do much in the way of girls. Speed dating doesn't count and neither does 'talking to girls'.

5 and 6) Yeah everybody, and I mean everybody, went through the phase of going out a lot and even trying out PUA behaviours, lines etc. Whilst we can argue about trying out PUA stuff, everybody needs to do the 'going out loads' phase.

Avoids? No. I talk to women as and when I'm out & about living my life, or at least try to. Yes - i do get nervous or chicken out at times & don't follow through, guilty as sin there. Doesn't do much in the way of girls? Yeah - thats true, I'll come back to that. I would think speed dating does count since the whole pont of it is to meet women.

Everybody did not certainly do this, I don't know anyone else off this forum who knows anything about PUA. All my close male friends - none of them did this. I can only think of 3 guys who were fairly player-esque and totally went up to girls and banged quite a few in years gone by, thats a small minority.

[BroadswordWSJ]

Originally Posted by Phenom

Broadsword how would you say you feel about yourself now compared with the day the first joined this forum?

A year ago I was depressed, thought women hated me & were repulsed by me, that I was ugly & too short & had low self confidence & self esteem. I (bizarrly) had a big ego and was quite inward & anxious.

My height probably is a disadvantage, women generally prefer taller man. I can't change that. But there's plenty for whom height won't be an issue, and I know short guys who do just fine.

Women don't hate me nor are they replused by me. I thought this because of my lack of success, being bullied by them at School & through my general lack of self worth. And perhaps women do find me ugly, but the last few months i look in the mirror and actually think I'm alright looking - I deffo suit a bit of facial hair. And as long as I think that who cares if women think I'm ugly.

It might sound like hippy shit but one of the biggest things I've learnt since coming on here & something I think is really important is self love & how you treat others. How are you ever going to be confident about anything & how is a girl ever going to like you if you don't even like yourself first? I love myself a lot more now & I'm happier, I still get down from time to time, but I don't sit all depressed doom & gloom thinking life is shit as much as I used to.

I've also tried to drop my "ego" - stop being someone I'm not by trying to be total outgoing & extroverted and some kind of weird flirt, and try to be a bit nicer & friendly. I've learned its ok to be myself. The trade off with this is that a lot of women like me as a friend or only see me as friendly. Kowalski said in one of my posts a while back that being sexual is more to do with how you walk, your vibe, body language & eye contact - not really to do with what you say. I get this in fits & bursts but its admittedly something I struggle with.

Originally Posted by Shahanshah

This is a dating forum. It'd be like joining a bodybuilding forum and saying you're fine not going to the gym

This is a valid point, and me saying "I don't care" is perhaps the wrong response. Of course I care, but I'm not hell bent on it. The truth is it really isn't a priority for me, its just something along with many other things in life would be good if it got a bit better. As I said above, I no longer dwell on being single alll the time, maybe at certain social events I get a bit knarked because everyone is paired up & I'm not.

As for virginity, I've tried to look at it as not a big deal. The only person bothered about it is me (and Shah apparently ). There's no point worrying about it. Of course I'm not stupid - if & when the time comes I'm sure I'll be shit scared, probably blow my load in about 3 seconds & the girl will freak out because I'm a million years old & never done it & I'll probably struggle to enjoy it. But why even worry about it or obsess about it until the time comes? Surely I should just enjoy talking to women, having dates (see next post...) and what not first since that's the logical order this comes in......you wouldn't freak out about mile 26 of a marathon before the race even starts or worry your ass off that you won't be able to do the job before your even offered it would you? (You'd worry about it once your offered it!)

[BroadswordWSJ]

I've gone Speed Dating multiple times on my own (and my "results" have got better - a Yes & 2 friend requests is better than every girl just marking no), I've purposley gone out with the whole intention of "gaming". I've walked up to plenty women and just started talking to them. The last few months I haven't posted up EVERYTHING I've been doing because it didn't warrant posting, but stuff like in the last few pages like the emo girl who's number I got at the pizza counter (who i never ended up meeting), the student who's number I got but she had no social life, the scarf girl from the club who even Kowalski said wanted a piece of me - these are things I would NEVER have done before.

I was at a private bar function on Friday & ended up getting completely wasted & was too busy enjoying myself with friends I'd not seen in over 2 months to think about women. On Saturday I attended a wedding where there were only 2 single women in the whole place one of whom was shit faced drunk and the other I didnt like. I spent a week at a wedding in Italy where NONE of the 20 + women in the party were single.

Overall I'm a lot happier and a better person than I was a year ago. I've developed hobbies such as meditating, reading, walking & got back into poker a bit when previously I had no substance to my being.

My new job is time consuming, 60+ hour weeks and a lot of trips away lately doesn't give much time. I won't go into it a lot, but I still live with my Mum, she hasn't worked since she was pregnant with me and won't work again. She also has anxiety, flirts with depression on a weekly basis and she's probably bi-polar. I've tried my best to support her financially & emotionally since my Dad died 8 years ago; I've almost got a deposit ready to buy a house next year, but this isn't easy when trying to save for one house & pay everything for another at the same time.

These things aren't easy & can make life hard. Perhaps I use them as excuses at times? Maybe - but they are also big parts of my life.

But yes, I have dropped off in the last few months. Because I'm not overly bothered about it, I'm enjoying other things & just having fun, maybe lost a bit of interest, a combination of the above. In the last 2 months I've barely been in the country for 2 weeks, I'm due offshore again for a bit next week, home briefly then away again the week after which doesn't give me much free time.

Shah is right, I do admittedly need to do a bit more. It's admittedly a bit saddening flicking back over this thread to see how much more interactions I was having a while back compared to now & I might even re-read this thread & my first ever thread as there was a lot of good advice in it. So I'll make a point of trying more when the oppportunity arises, but I'm certainly not going to be hell fire & brimstone about it. I know he's trying to help, but I think his obsession with getting laid is a bit misguided, its not a good yardstick to go by (IMO).

I could write so much more and there's loads I thought of then forgot but I think 3 posts is more than enough.

Originally Posted by kowalski in my very first thread

Here is the straight dope: You haven't got what it takes yet. You aren't a man yet. You are a pathetic excuse for your own existence.

He's still right, I still don't fully "have what it takes" & I'm still not quite a man yet. But I'm definitly no longer a pathetic excuse of a person, and I'm a lot more of a man, and a lot happier than i was a year or so ago.

[BroadswordWSJ]

Originally Posted by markuk

So my question to Broadswords is when you jerk one out, who do you fantasize about?

This is not a loaded question and I'll explain why. I was a virgin for a long time. I wouldn't say I was particularly depressed, I had friends and did shit.
However when I got horny I just watched porn. I never really felt horny for 'normal' girls I got my kicks through porn.

I'm not saying porn is evil and that I don't watch some occasionally now, however it's rare I do. I look at women I meet and feel horny about them.
That drives me to meet women more women. It has probably been one of the biggest motivators for me.

This sounds reactive not proactive. You're clearly doing proative things, like speed dating. To me speed-dating is no more contrived that doing an 'approach' on a hottie on the street. So why not try that as well occasionally, I've found that liberating from an anxiety standpoint & I've met some girls this way, although not had sex with any (but that's not the point).
Maybe speed dating is more accepted on this forum because it's not PUA related, dunno.

I just think this could be a case not not knowing what you're missing out on.
It's a catch-22 as how do you know what you're missing out on until you've had it of course.

Anyway just my two pence worth.

Jerking off varies from porn, to women I know who are unavailable, or women I've known in the past. I do approach women at times, other times I can also chicken out. This is usually when I'm out on the piss at a weekend or at Asda during the week, thats generally the only times I'm out other than work. Being in bed at around 10pm & being up at 05:30 doesn't give me much time for anyting else during the week.

i probably don't know what I'm missing out on, and the whole thing on this post has exploded probably because of my response of "I don't care" and the fact I've had no "results" with women since I came on here. A lot has changed with me in the last year and I've realised a lot of things, its just none of them have been in the way of women, I'm thankful for all the stuff I've realised in that time.

Yes, i do need to do more, i agree. But I'm not going to kill myself doing it. if folk don't like what I post on here, tough, don't read the thread. if Jaz wants to ban me, fine. I'm going to carry on living and enjoying life & posting stuff on here as and when I feel relevant.

[markuk]

No man, you're cool. No one will ban you.

I'll admit to not reading many of your posts but I read your first and what you posted today is a million miles away from that person and makes me want to do more.

[BroadswordWSJ]

You spending ages trying to get on or looking for a bus and get nowhere, then loads come at once.

Nipped into town yesterday literally for less than an hour for a haircut, got 3 numbers.

1. Hot girl coming out of Costa - she bumped into me by mistake. Made some lame joke about her deliberately trying to spill her coffee on me. Yada, yada, yada - told her we should go out for a drink.

2. Bizarrly walked into another girl in a hurry going round a street corner where we almost bumped heads and I accused her of trying to headbutt me. Yada, yada, yada - I admittedly told a white lie telling her I was out this weekend when I'm not and we should meet up.

3. Saw some girl with leather pants waiting to get into a shopping centre door, told her I bet they keep her warm in this weather and that they looked cool. The convo got a bit heated, pretty flirty and I was admittedly not overly comfortable with ie, especially when I told her it would be cool if I could join her in her pants to see if they would keep me warm

4. Saw some other girl I thought was hot, went up to her and told I thought she was hot and I liked her hat. Convo didn't do anywhere, felt awkward, ran out of things to say and I kinda just walked off.

Numbers are supposed to be nothing to get excited by, but I say 3/4 is damn good. Texting 2 of them just now - all this and all I planned to do last night was get my haircut.

[markuk]

BroadswordWSJ
I have a question for you.

Since joining this forum have you been laid ?