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Default ~Mark's Slow Journey - 09-07-2013, 10:15 PM

I've decided to post my progression or lack of progression on here (SmikeyK style)

Here's an email I sent to a friend. It's quite frank and honest.

Butlins was an interesting experience. There were probably 100's of people on stag do's and hen do's dressed as everything you could imagine.
Most of them seem to be from Wales and probably more 'working class' type people (sounds snobbish I know).

There were essentially two types of people in our group. My brother and some of his 'PUA' buddies and myself and 2 friends I've known for a long time (not into PUA).
To summarise

The first couple of days I stayed around with my non-PUA buddies and found it a little overwhelming and didn't really speak to any women, other than very short conversations.

On the Sunday I just thought 'fuck it' I'm going to drink more and have a good time and do what I want to do and not be anyone's chaperone.
So we were in this pub and a lot of the PU guys were doing silly approaches but it all felt very positive. I went to the bar to get my third pint and starting talking to a girl next to me. I saw her again and smiled at her. Anyway I went over and spoke to her (that was a nerve racking walk). She was very attractive and interesting to speak to. I ended up speaking to her pretty much until midnight. She (Kerry) was telling me she was here with her partner so she felt a little guilty but what she was telling me what different to how she was feeling, I could tell. I was trying to pull her into the club but she wouldn't come.
I went for her number and she said her phone was flat and she couldn't remember it, which seemed genuine.
I remember reading you must be prepared to walk away from any woman to show you are not needy, so I told her I had to go and walked away.

A few minutes later I was talking to the guys when I noticed I noticed she had followed me and was by my side. I took her hand and walked outside with her. Some of the PUA guys were shouting 'SEAL THE DEAL' - dick heads I thought but maybe they had a point.

I went for a kiss but she backed off but said she wanted to give me her email address. That was that.

If everything she said was true I don't know why she came back to give me her email address. I have emailed her and not had a reply as yet.
Maybe I should have tried to "f-close" her as some of the PU guys said but I didn't think she was that type of girl, she was 31 and ran her own business.

This is now where meditation could be helpful as I keep re-playing the weekend and the conversation with Kerry - maybe I'm trying to get some of the 'good feelings' back now. However I need to stop doing that and just be in the present.

Anyway I have a PoF date tomorrow so will see how that does but I don't feel interested right now.


I sent that email a couple of weeks ago. Looking back it's easy to see I fucked up and should have tried to 'hard close' Kerry instead of accepting a crappy email address, but I guess I was too scared to be rejected.

I've now been on a few PoF dates but, they are not very attractive to me. I know when I grow a pair of balls and talk to hot women often they enjoy my company but I just need to put myself in that situation more.

So my plan:
Go out with more guys who want to do the same as me and approach women.
Do a 8 weeks meditation course.
Quit my easy Perm IT job and go contracting (in progress)
Possibly do a RSD bootcamp in August (undecided)

Mark


Realise deeply the present moment is all you ever have. Make the Now the primary focus of your life. Eckhart Tolle
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Default 10-07-2013, 02:33 PM

I think you pua friends probs fucked it for u shouting shit. Although if you had gone in stronger earlier you might have been more successful, im guilty of the same sitting about chatting and being comfortable with not moving the interaction forward when I know I damn well should.
POF sucks been on a few dates through it and found it was way 2 much work and all the girls I met were all weirdo stalker psychos, its all about looks and if your not super good looking the hotties rarely show any interest. I personally believe most hotties just sign up so 100s of chumps can message them and they can get an ego boost out of it.
Personally I would bother with the boot camp save the 2 grand buddy theres better things you could put that toards.


Those who risk nothing, do nothing, achieve nothing,become nothing!!
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markuk (10-07-2013)
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Default 14-07-2013, 06:25 PM

Very short and crap field report but whatever.

Decided to head out into Sheffield on Saturday evening as me and my brother were visiting our other brother in Sheffield; during the day we did a 25 mile off road bike ride in the peak district - fucking rocked but a little hot.

Anyway we were out in West Street which is like the north's answer to Oxford street? Okay maybe not but there were lots of bars and birds!

We went to a pub and were standing outside. One thing which I see so many guys doing it looking at women, turning to their mate saying "I'd do X to her" But then not doing anything. When I see that it makes me want to approach women more and more and not be like that... (taking motivation from my ego perhaps - not a good thing, but at least I recognise it and accept it for now)


I digress, back to the action (not much of it).
I've not really done much opening for a while sober for a long time so I was a little on edge. Anyway brother opened this 3 set, who were looking pretty cute and lots of guys ogling them. They were okay but blondy was a 'cock' as my brother put it and they soon left.

I opened up another set just asking 'hey where's good in Sheffield' They were friendly and I think I was so relived in opening them I forgot to keep the interaction going.

Anyway not much else happened, I was pretty knackered for the days bike riding.

Postive actions.
I opened women sober.

Things to improve on.
- Need to show some some of intent and open more than 1 set a night, maybe 2 next time!
- Take more risks!


Mark


Realise deeply the present moment is all you ever have. Make the Now the primary focus of your life. Eckhart Tolle
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Default 14-07-2013, 06:49 PM

Mark I like your field reports - you seem like a genuine guy who has a lot to offer girls. Believe it


Be desireless. Be awesome. Be gone
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markuk (15-07-2013)
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Default 19-07-2013, 10:17 AM

Quick note to on 'Kerry' from the above field report.
My initial email to her was so weak 'did you have a good weekend at Butlins'

So I sent a second one (I know breaking all the PUA rules).
This time I just said some things which I meant.

She replied and said she was surprised when I had tried to kiss her, but she also acknowledged I was chatting her up. Anyway I think there is a potential for us to be friends or maybe I'll just keep in contract with her, and see where things go, she does have a boyfriend.

Anyway back to the new field report:

Thursday 19th July
Met up with Tebbus, Paul & Dustin

So I met Tebbus & Paul (Sugar spin bailed early wasn't feeling well).
Had a lot of anxiety prior to going, this was caused because by the thought I wouldn’t be able to approach and obviously being with PUA's that is an expectation. This was caused by worrying what other people think of me – again this is protecting my ego, I recognise that.

Went for a bit of a mooch around London then we went to a pub where there was a love struck dating event going on. Queue at the bar was a joke, but it was nice and sunny outside. So got our drinks and headed to the courtyard bit. Two girls were standing behind us and I decided just to start chatting with the old 'are you friendly' comment. One of the girls was wearing glasses and I could tell she was more confident and the other girl seemed to be nervous. I chatted for a bit, didn't really fancy either of them but was a good warm up. When I said I'm going to find my friends there was a pause, almost like they waiting for me to ask for a number. Maybe because it's a dating event they were expecting that. I maybe fucked up here because I had already judged them as being not good enough because they were at a dating event. Again ego driven bull shit I must avoid.


Went to a little pub where Tebbus opened some east European girls with a comment about her glasses. Next went to the Porter house in Covent Garden. I was with Paul and we saw some girls on the left and I thought fuck it I'll open them. They were kind of talking to themselves and I just walked up to one and pushed my shoulder gently into her and as she looked around I said the ‘are you friendly’ comment again. The girl I asked was pretty sexy. There was a good bit of banter and I realised I had just opened my first 6 set!
In these situations I am becoming more relaxed and this enables me to be myself more. For example the girl told me they were there because their work colleague was leaving and I said
'so are you celebrating or commiserating'... Anyway me and Paul got cock blocked by a girl who politely asked us to leave as they were there for their friends leaving do.

Next Paul opened a 2 set, a cute blonde Czech girl and a crazy not so hot Argentine girl. Long story short Paul got cock blocked by Argentine girl and drunken assuie guy.

On the way out I walked over to the cute girl I had spoken to earlier and said 'look do you want to go for a drink sometime' She looked nervous and said 'I have a boyfriend' <pause> 'and he lives with me' then she said 'thanks'. I thought this was sweet, she could have just said ‘no’. Anyway I said 'it's fine, you don't ask you don't get' and said good bye.

Next went to a little bar I was on soda water now. Saw one girl giving me an IOI and didn't do anything but then saw a 3 set at the bar. Walked up to the fitty blonde said 'hello' and waited until she looked at me and acknowledge me and said 'I'm Mark'

She was lovely such a nice girl and turned out to be a lawyer. She was asking me lots of questions and showing interest. I asked what sports she liked, she was into cricket and rugby.
I said I have no idea about those sports, (in the past maybe I'd try and get approval and pretend I liked them). Anyway turned out she's dating someone form the London harlequins. I was asking her how she met him and then she was asking about my love life, it was a nice little chat, I didn't feel like I was ‘gaming her’ in fact I’ve not felt that way about any of girls I’ve spoken too for a while.




Positives
Opened lots of girls and stayed in decent length conversations.
Didn't feel too bothered when girls told me they had boyfriends, I wouldn't mind having some more hot non-girl friends in my life if I'm honest. (edit - there' s the ego again!)
Beginning to realise I am often able to connect with women quite easily if I just talk about the stuff I'm interested in. I feel I've really connected with some girls recently, it just so happens they all had boyfriends. It's only matter of time one will be single!

Goals
Maybe just have two pints and then soda waters, I don't want a beer belly.
Enjoy talking to everyone and show an interest whoever it is and stay present.
Be less judgemental


Realise deeply the present moment is all you ever have. Make the Now the primary focus of your life. Eckhart Tolle

Last edited by markuk; 19-07-2013 at 10:23 AM.
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Default 19-07-2013, 11:12 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by markuk View Post
Quick note to on 'Kerry' from the above field report.
My initial email to her was so weak 'did you have a good weekend at Butlins'

So I sent a second one (I know breaking all the PUA rules).
This time I just said some things which I meant.

She replied and said she was surprised when I had tried to kiss her, but she also acknowledged I was chatting her up. Anyway I think there is a potential for us to be friends or maybe I'll just keep in contract with her, and see where things go, she does have a boyfriend.

Anyway back to the new field report:

Thursday 19th July
Met up with Tebbus, Paul & Dustin

So I met Tebbus & Paul (Sugar spin bailed early wasn't feeling well).
Had a lot of anxiety prior to going, this was caused because by the thought I wouldn’t be able to approach and obviously being with PUA's that is an expectation. This was caused by worrying what other people think of me – again this is protecting my ego, I recognise that.

Went for a bit of a mooch around London then we went to a pub where there was a love struck dating event going on. Queue at the bar was a joke, but it was nice and sunny outside. So got our drinks and headed to the courtyard bit. Two girls were standing behind us and I decided just to start chatting with the old 'are you friendly' comment. One of the girls was wearing glasses and I could tell she was more confident and the other girl seemed to be nervous. I chatted for a bit, didn't really fancy either of them but was a good warm up. When I said I'm going to find my friends there was a pause, almost like they waiting for me to ask for a number. Maybe because it's a dating event they were expecting that. I maybe fucked up here because I had already judged them as being not good enough because they were at a dating event. Again ego driven bull shit I must avoid.


Went to a little pub where Tebbus opened some east European girls with a comment about her glasses. Next went to the Porter house in Covent Garden. I was with Paul and we saw some girls on the left and I thought fuck it I'll open them. They were kind of talking to themselves and I just walked up to one and pushed my shoulder gently into her and as she looked around I said the ‘are you friendly’ comment again. The girl I asked was pretty sexy. There was a good bit of banter and I realised I had just opened my first 6 set!
In these situations I am becoming more relaxed and this enables me to be myself more. For example the girl told me they were there because their work colleague was leaving and I said
'so are you celebrating or commiserating'... Anyway me and Paul got cock blocked by a girl who politely asked us to leave as they were there for their friends leaving do.

Next Paul opened a 2 set, a cute blonde Czech girl and a crazy not so hot Argentine girl. Long story short Paul got cock blocked by Argentine girl and drunken assuie guy.

On the way out I walked over to the cute girl I had spoken to earlier and said 'look do you want to go for a drink sometime' She looked nervous and said 'I have a boyfriend' <pause> 'and he lives with me' then she said 'thanks'. I thought this was sweet, she could have just said ‘no’. Anyway I said 'it's fine, you don't ask you don't get' and said good bye.

Next went to a little bar I was on soda water now. Saw one girl giving me an IOI and didn't do anything but then saw a 3 set at the bar. Walked up to the fitty blonde said 'hello' and waited until she looked at me and acknowledge me and said 'I'm Mark'

She was lovely such a nice girl and turned out to be a lawyer. She was asking me lots of questions and showing interest. I asked what sports she liked, she was into cricket and rugby.
I said I have no idea about those sports, (in the past maybe I'd try and get approval and pretend I liked them). Anyway turned out she's dating someone form the London harlequins. I was asking her how she met him and then she was asking about my love life, it was a nice little chat, I didn't feel like I was ‘gaming her’ in fact I’ve not felt that way about any of girls I’ve spoken too for a while.




Positives
Opened lots of girls and stayed in decent length conversations.
Didn't feel too bothered when girls told me they had boyfriends, I wouldn't mind having some more hot non-girl friends in my life if I'm honest. (edit - there' s the ego again!)
Beginning to realise I am often able to connect with women quite easily if I just talk about the stuff I'm interested in. I feel I've really connected with some girls recently, it just so happens they all had boyfriends. It's only matter of time one will be single!

Goals
Maybe just have two pints and then soda waters, I don't want a beer belly.
Enjoy talking to everyone and show an interest whoever it is and stay present.
Be less judgemental
Good shit for going out there! And even more points for approaching like a maddafakka.

Seems you have no problems with conversation too which it looks like you literally just got to figure out what you're doing rather than learning from nothing.

One thing I did notice was you seemed to get an awful lot of great conversations but they all seemed to have a boyfriend. Was this pure coincidence or something on your part?

If I was to give you my impression it'd be that you might be coming across as a friend not a fucker.

I could easily be wrong, I wasn't there, but a possibility.


Know Thyself.

Have fun.
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Default 19-07-2013, 05:29 PM

Yes I think you're right Shahanshah, but maybe I don't want to be a 'fucker' until I know I want to fuck her for 100% certainty and feel she has given me the green light in some way.

Even then sometimes I know I lack intent, maybe I should try some direct openers next time.


Realise deeply the present moment is all you ever have. Make the Now the primary focus of your life. Eckhart Tolle
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Default 19-07-2013, 05:51 PM

Cool, trying different openers is fun. I love trying loads of stupid lines and ideas.

I have found that its not so much about using direct openers or indirect openers but how you're coming across. Are you coming across as a non-sexual or sexual?


Know Thyself.

Have fun.
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Default 29-07-2013, 09:41 PM

Quick field report. Will keep this short and sweet.

Went away this weekend for an adventure weekend with a social group.
Chatting to lots of people but one girl stood out for me. Amazing figure and just very cute. Finally got her alone to talk too, found out we had lots in common and she was super bright too. Anyway soon found out she had a boyfriend but I'm getting used to hearing that now. In fact I like that I'm attracted to girls who are in solid relationships, I want a girl like this (obviously a single one but you know what I mean).

So she wants to meet me for some runs together, which will be cool.
Tomorrow I'm out again, plan is to talk to more women.

Also need to arrange coffee with girl from LoveStruck who winked at me and isn't a total munter.

Mark


Realise deeply the present moment is all you ever have. Make the Now the primary focus of your life. Eckhart Tolle
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Default 04-08-2013, 01:04 PM

Saturday 3rd Aug

Plan with to meet up with my mate first then meet up in Shoreditch with a couple of guys from the forum.

First part of the plan went well but after a bottle of wine we were late and missed the meeting time. Never managed to actually meet the other guys due to number of reasons.

On the way to the tube we were stopped by two girls, with "Do you know where x hospital is" then something about a Turkish restaurant. I played mr serious "Is there an emergency situation, what's wrong with you?" Got a laugh but not much else.

On the way to old street I saw a hottie on the other side of the escalator checking me out so I waved at her and she started giggling. Maybe I should have ran up the escalator the wrong way and asked for her number, next time!

Went to a quiet bar drank wine, no approaches.
Went to the Bar & Brill hoxten square. More wine.
Sat down was still quiet but 3 women next to us. One adjacent to me had a scare on left arm. I tapped her and said 'how did you get that ?', we ended up chatting a while but there was zero attraction. Didn't bother trying to number close.

Left went to another bar, more wine.
Opened 2 girls, don't remember how one was French the other was Portuguese. Don't remember much of the interaction but nothing hooked and I didn't find them attractive.

Saw two other girls, one looked cute one did not. I decided to go in true 'PUA' style by opening the one I didn't fancy. She had a ruck sack so I stood next to her tapped her on the shoulder and said 'what's in there'. She looked a little confused but her cute friend explained it to her. Cute friend was Polish. Spoke to cute friend, she came across as standoffish. By now the excess alcohol wasn't helping & I couldn't build any rapport with them, they left.

We left and my mate started opening quite a few girls in the street. I really couldn't be bothered at this stage. When I feel drunk I don't feel good about myself.

I have been doing meditation everyday this week and I am enjoying the benefits of being more mind full, however being drunk ruins all that.
Want to drink less and talk to women I find attractive!

On another note, I'm going for a run with the girl I met last weekend. I shall be present and not check out her ass, I promise.
<edit it appears I really won't be checking out her ass (karma in action) she flaked on me, to go running later 9.30 with her friend. Decided to stick to my original plans but run solo>

Mark


Realise deeply the present moment is all you ever have. Make the Now the primary focus of your life. Eckhart Tolle

Last edited by markuk; 04-08-2013 at 03:24 PM.
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