I've decided to post my progression or lack of progression on here (SmikeyK style)

Here's an email I sent to a friend. It's quite frank and honest.

Butlins was an interesting experience. There were probably 100's of people on stag do's and hen do's dressed as everything you could imagine.
Most of them seem to be from Wales and probably more 'working class' type people (sounds snobbish I know).

There were essentially two types of people in our group. My brother and some of his 'PUA' buddies and myself and 2 friends I've known for a long time (not into PUA).
To summarise

The first couple of days I stayed around with my non-PUA buddies and found it a little overwhelming and didn't really speak to any women, other than very short conversations.

On the Sunday I just thought 'fuck it' I'm going to drink more and have a good time and do what I want to do and not be anyone's chaperone.
So we were in this pub and a lot of the PU guys were doing silly approaches but it all felt very positive. I went to the bar to get my third pint and starting talking to a girl next to me. I saw her again and smiled at her. Anyway I went over and spoke to her (that was a nerve racking walk). She was very attractive and interesting to speak to. I ended up speaking to her pretty much until midnight. She (Kerry) was telling me she was here with her partner so she felt a little guilty but what she was telling me what different to how she was feeling, I could tell. I was trying to pull her into the club but she wouldn't come.
I went for her number and she said her phone was flat and she couldn't remember it, which seemed genuine.
I remember reading you must be prepared to walk away from any woman to show you are not needy, so I told her I had to go and walked away.

A few minutes later I was talking to the guys when I noticed I noticed she had followed me and was by my side. I took her hand and walked outside with her. Some of the PUA guys were shouting 'SEAL THE DEAL' - dick heads I thought but maybe they had a point.

I went for a kiss but she backed off but said she wanted to give me her email address. That was that.

If everything she said was true I don't know why she came back to give me her email address. I have emailed her and not had a reply as yet.
Maybe I should have tried to "f-close" her as some of the PU guys said but I didn't think she was that type of girl, she was 31 and ran her own business.

This is now where meditation could be helpful as I keep re-playing the weekend and the conversation with Kerry - maybe I'm trying to get some of the 'good feelings' back now. However I need to stop doing that and just be in the present.

Anyway I have a PoF date tomorrow so will see how that does but I don't feel interested right now.

I sent that email a couple of weeks ago. Looking back it's easy to see I fucked up and should have tried to 'hard close' Kerry instead of accepting a crappy email address, but I guess I was too scared to be rejected.

I've now been on a few PoF dates but, they are not very attractive to me. I know when I grow a pair of balls and talk to hot women often they enjoy my company but I just need to put myself in that situation more.

So my plan:
Go out with more guys who want to do the same as me and approach women.
Do a 8 weeks meditation course.
Quit my easy Perm IT job and go contracting (in progress)
Possibly do a RSD bootcamp in August (undecided)

Mark