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Default Medical Trials - Human Guinea Pig - 20-04-2013, 10:13 PM

It's Saturday night and I am in a hospital bed hooked up to a heart rate monitor and an IV and I'm not sick. Im fact I'm just eating crisps and watcing the matrix trilogy in my pants quite happily while a nurse takes a sample of my blood every hour. I here for six days and at the end of my stay I will receive 2.5k and a pat on the back.

So why are you not doing the same?

Medical trials are a piece of fucking piss. Majority of the time you are testing a drug for some ailment, which you will take as part of a group and spend your time in a ward while they take samples of you to see how it metabolizes in your body. You may have side effects but they are usually non existent or very mild. Besides, you will be told way before what the side effects are and you have to be fit and healthy to be taken on. Before you say "you stupid cunt you are going to kill youself", don't be an idiot. There are various safety tests medicine has to go though before it goes into a human, the likely hood is that on a trial they have probably already been tested on many different groups before you.

Out of a group of ten of which I am in, there have been two lads who got the shits. That was expected. Apart from that the worst part about this is the boredom. You a spending a good few days on a ward with fuck all to do. It's like big brother but without the cameras. But you are fed and watered and everyone else is up for a good chin wag.

It's not always drug trials, they may be testing a new procedure or just doing a general medical study. For example, there are a few chaps in here who have to eat McDonalds three times a day while they have a tube up there nose. They are getting paid 1200 quid. Let me repeat that - they are getting paid 1200 for eating McDonalds with a tube up there nose.

So check it out. Like I said, easy TAX FREE money and you are also doing a (sort of) good deed.

This is the company I am with. But there are loads all over the county - paying up to ten grand!

ICON Study Volunteers Manchester, UK, Paid Clinical Trials
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