Originally Posted by kowalski

If this is the only time anyone has ever called you effeminate, which it sounds like it is, then I think you would do good to just let it go.

If you mean prove to specifically her that you are not effeminate, you can't really. Trying, in any context, is obvious and is the opposite of a sign of strong independence / internal locus of control. Forget her. Maybe she didn't even mean effeminate, maybe she has a shitty grasp of English. It really doesn't matter. She said she isn't feeling it. Accept that. Wherever you can, train yourself to let go of the need for an explanation, the need to understand, the need to be understood, the need for closure, the need for revenge, feelings of nostalgia, etc. They aren't good for anything.


Some stuff nothing to do with her saying you are effeminate...

Trust your feels. You knew already she wouldn't kiss you from the vibe you were picking up. Trusting feels will also lead you to good things in other moments

I always immediately ask "why?" when I kiss a girl and she doesn't go with it. Sometimes the answer is something you can work with, sometimes it's her own problem and you can tell her she needs to deal with it. Then you can stay or leave on your terms.


Peace,

kowalski